College and Caregiver: When do they come together?
Five college students filled my kitchen with laughter and conversation over a leisurely summer breakfast. Only one of them was non-American, the other four were studying at the same college in Minnesota. I asked each of them what they would do if one, or both, of their parents needed care. The non-American, a lovely Russian woman who happens to also be an only child, said she would absolutely live with and care for her parents; “That’s how it’s done and I’m very close to them.” The other four were less certain: Would they have their parents move in with them, or find some type of senior housing? “We haven’t thought of this.” Why would they? They’re 20-something and their parents are “still young.”
I’ve been presenting on the topic of family caregiving and aging for nearly 30 years and still, family caregivers wonder why “no one” is talking about it.
The press reports on the critical need to prepare more people to be caregivers, but the subject of providing care to an elderly loved one remains a subject swept under the carpet, or generally ignored.
Growing older is not a sexy subject and hence, doesn’t get the press it needs. Yet aging happens to all of us. If you don’t like it and try to avoid everything about it, how will you give care to an older parent?
You have to love your own aging self in order to be loving towards an older adult. It’s way past time to think about caregiving and aging.
Maybe we need to introduce aging and family caregiving into our public school system. Without some major change, I fear the impending silver tsunami will drown us all.
Shame is described as a painful feeling that we are somehow flawed and unworthy of being loved. It can be triggered by our own unhealthy mind chatter or when someone says something nasty to us, and we take...